Actress Judy Garland once said, "If I'm such a legend, then why am I so lonely? Albert Einstein agreed: "It is strange to be known so universally," he said, "and yet be so lonely." Author Hubert Van Zeller believes loneliness is really a longing after God. "The soul hardly ever realizes it," he writes, "but whether [we are] a believer or not, [our] loneliness is really a homesickness for God."

Japanese crews preparing a building for demolition recently found the remains of a man in an apartment, and believe the man died a lonely death twenty years ago. A skeleton clad in pajamas was found lying on musty bedding when workers entered the second floor unit where the man had lived. The newspaper on the kitchen table was dated February 20, 1984.

Authorities say the man worked for a construction firm that built the apartments in 1973. They believe he moved into the vacant building after the firm managing it went bankrupt. They say the man, aged 57 at the time, suddenly stopped coming to work twenty years ago. He was divorced and had children, but none of his family or friends ever asked police to search for him. After hearing the gruesome news, a neighbor said,

"I had no idea that the apartment even existed. After I heard the news I thought, 'Oh it's here.' It's as if time had stopped in this one place."

—Reuters, Man Lies Dead in Apartment for 20 Years, June 10, 2004, Illustration by Jim L. Wilson and Jim Sandell.

Relationships make our lives so much richer. This story is certainly an extreme instance of someone who lived and died in isolation, but to a lesser extent, everyone who chooses not to engage with others risks dying a slow, lonely death and miss the opportunity of living a full, rich life in community with others.

Psalm 119:63 (NASB) “I am a companion of all those who fear Thee, And of those who keep Thy precepts.”

There are times when a person can long for relationship to the point of being irrational. Such was the case of an Illinois man over the last two years. An online girlfriend convinced him she had been kidnapped and needed ransom money wired. After her release, she would join him. $200,000.00 later, money he wired to bank accounts in the U.S., England, Malaysia, and Nigeria, he contacted police. From them he learned the unbelievable news that his girlfriend was fictitious.

--The Week, March 11, 2011 p. 16 Illustration by Jim L. Wilson and Rodger Russell

Loneliness is a strong emotion. A longing for others can cause people to act weird and believe strange things. One of the strongest assets of the church should be the fellowship believers can have with one another. Jesus said that loving one another would be the distinguishing mark of his disciples.

John 13:34-35 (CEV) (34) But I am giving you a new command. You must love each other, just as I have loved you. (35) If you love each other, everyone will know that you are my disciples.

In The Divine Commodity: Discovering a Faith Beyond Consumer Christianity, Skye Jethani writes, “The appeal of social networking sites is the ability to simultaneously have hundreds of “friends” without actually risking the emotional investment of a real human relationship. As a result, relying on these sites for the bulk of one’s relationships may exacerbate the aching loneliness we feel in our souls.”

- The Divine Commodity, p. 145 Illustration by Jim L. Wilson

2 Timothy 4:16 (HCSB) At my first defense, no one stood by me, but everyone deserted me. May it not be counted against them.

According to an AP news report, Moshco-Piro people of Amazon jungle in Peru do not associate with outsiders, but create their own compartmentalized community. An archaeologist says that it is even harder now to communicate with them because the only interpreter who knew their language was murdered, and they tend to antagonize any outsider.

It is strange that there are still people who are running away from civilization in a so-called global village where there is supposed to be no more limit of time and space. In the same way, it is strange that the created human beings are afraid of fellowshipping with their Creator and running away from Him.

--http://news.yahoo.com/isolated-peru-tribe-makes-uncomfortable-contact-135924259.html Illustration by Jim L. Wilson and Bawm Luk Lagwi

NASA scientists say they will find proof of life on other planets within 20 years. The James Webb Space Telescope will launch in 2018 and will be capable of detecting the signs of life in the atmospheres of other planets. Scientists are understandably excited about such prospects. Matt Mountain, director of the Space Telescope Science Institute in Baltimore says, “Just imagine the moment when we find potential signatures of life. Imagine the moment when the human race realizes that its long loneliness in time and space may be over.”

Excuse me! Only recently have we thought of ourselves as lonely in time and space. Most of us believe we have been accompanied in the universe by heavenly beings, including the Lord of the Universe since the beginning. We are not now, nor have we ever been alone in the Universe. --Jim L. Wilson and Rodger Russell

Doris and Fred Thomson are both 95 years old. The two police officers responding to an emergency from their home expected the worse. There was no real emergency, at least of the kind we normally think about. Fred and Doris just wanted someone to talk to.

The British policemen brewed a pot of tea and spent half an hour chatting with the couple. “You can be a bit isolated as you get older,” said Fred, who is also blind. —Jim L. Wilson and Rodger Russell

Real Christianity is visiting the widows and orphans, and maybe just the elderly. We can remember to minister to the people in our sphere of influence who need nothing more than someone to talk to.

Psalm 27:10 (HCSB) Even if my father and mother abandon me, the LORD cares for me.

Loneliness

Police in England received an interesting emergency call from Fred Thomson and his 95-year-old wife Doris who said they were lonely. Stu Ockwell and Andy Richardson were the officers who responded to the call. “What else could we do but make them a brew of tea and have a chat?”

Thomson told the BBC that the visit touched him, saying he felt as if he had been “locked off from everything.”

The police officers actions were very Christ like. In fact, James tells us that is pure and undefiled religion. Who do we know that is just lonesome? Could we reach out to them with a pot of tea and a bit of conversation? --Jim L. Wilson and Rodger Russell

James 1:27 (HCSB)“Pure and undefiled religion before our God and Father is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself unstained by the world.”

It is not healthy to be lonely. A new finding from studies conducted over 21 years shows that people who lacked strong social ties and had few friends were 29 percent more likely to have a heart attack and 32 percent more likely to suffer a stroke. Researcher Nicole Valtorta reports that “if this is a risk factor then we should be trying to prevent the risk factor in the first place.”

The recipe for relief from loneliness is a Christian message. First we can have fellowship with the Father through Jesus Christ. But if someone needs companionship with skin on we, as the church, should welcome them into our fellowship with open arms. –Jim L. Wilson and Rodger Russell.

1 John 1:3 (HCSB) “what we have seen and heard we also declare to you, so that you may have fellowship along with us; and indeed our fellowship is with the Father and with His Son Jesus Christ.”

As the Cold War began to ease, the Pentagon redirected the use of its network of low-frequency underwater microphones. They had installed the microphones in the 1950’s to detect Soviet submarines. Now they could be used by scientific institutions to track the movements of whales. In 1989 William Watkins of Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution discovered a unique and unexpected signal in the North Pacific. It was the sound of a whale vocalizing on an entirely different frequency that the blue and fin whales in the region.

The whale returns every fall and is heard from August or September until January or February. They wondered, “If the whale was communicating at a different frequency than others of its kind, then could others even hear it? Was this whale swimming across the North Pacific, calling into a void and hearing nothing back in return? Was it . . . lonely?”

One interesting result has been the reaction around the world of a possibly lonely whale, known as the 52 Hz whale, or Blue 52. There has been a kid’s song about it and a sculpture that models it. It has been described as “the epitome of every person who’s ever felt too weird to love.” A 26-year-old photo editor in Poland “decided to get the outline of 52 Blue tattooed across his back after a bad breakup, the end of a six-year relationship.” In addition, there has been a Twitter account, plays, books, an animated children’s show, and music videos using the lonely whale as inspiration.

Many people are drawn to the story of a lonely whale because they are so lonely. The Beatles sang, “All the lonely people, where do they all come from?” They don’t come from anywhere, they are all around us. People who are calling into the void and getting no answer. Looking for an ear to hear we can turn to the Lord. The psalmist says “When they call to me, I will answer them; when they are in trouble, I will be with them.” He has promised that our plaintive cries will not go unheard. —Jim L. Wilson and Rodger Russell.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/classic-apps/the-loneliest-whale-in-the-world/2017/01/25/712fe5f0-c882-11e6-bf4b-2c064d32a4bf_story.html?utm_term=.ae22a401b4b1

Psalm 91:15 (HCSB) “When he calls out to Me, I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble. I will rescue him and give him honor.”

Denis Estimon remembers what loneliness felt like. As an immigrant from Haiti he felt isolated and alone when he first immigrated to the US. “It’s not a good feeling, like you’re by yourself.” Now that he has become a popular senior at his high school he is working to help others overcome their loneliness. “I don’t want anyone to have to go through feeling like I did.” He has started a lunchtime club called “We Dine Together.” Club members seek out people alone in the courtyard and strike up a conversation. Today in the lunch room at Boca Raton Community High School lunch tables have unusual groups of teens eating lunch together. “Jocks and geeks sit side by side.”

I am waiting for the church to catch that vision of togetherness. One of the teachings of Jesus is that we are to reach out into our world and find the lonely and invite them into the circle of life. –Jim L. Wilson and Rodger Russell.

Colossians 3:12–14 (HCSB)“Therefore, God’s chosen ones, holy and loved, put on heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, accepting one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a complaint against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive. Above all, put on love—the perfect bond of unity.”

Scientists at the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine studying 1,787 adults ages 19 to 32 discovered a connection between time spent on social media and loneliness. Users who spend more than two hours daily on sites like Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, and Instagram are more than twice as likely to feel socially isolated than those who use them less than 30 minutes per day.

The scientists don’t know if the long time on social media is a cause of loneliness or a result of loneliness. One thing is clear, however; no matter how many online friends you have, you need contact with real friends to avoid loneliness. –Jim L. Wilson and Rodger Russell.

Proverbs 17:17 (HCSB)“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a difficult time.”

The prevalence of loneliness “is surprisingly high,” says John Cacioppo, director of the Center for Cognitive and Social Neuroscience at the University of Chicago. Hiding loneliness makes it difficult to solve but when “you feel isolated, you feel as if there is no one who you can trust. The brain goes into self-preservation mode.”

Lonely people can automatically put up their guard, which in turn can make it difficult to establish those longed-for connections, Cacioppo says.

Charlotte Yeh, the chief medical officer of AARP Services, adds that the stigma that can come with admitting to loneliness means that we sometimes struggle silently. “Nobody wants to say, ‘Hey, I’m lonely.’”

Jennifer Caudle, a family physician and Asst. Professor at Rowan University says that confession of loneliness is integral to solving loneliness. Her confession was simple. “I can go all day and not communicate with a person directly. I’m on my computer all day long, and sometimes at the end of the day, even though I’ve been productive, I feel a little empty.” That was the beginning of her healing. —Jim L. Wilson and Rodger Russell.

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2017/04/30/why-do-we-feel-so-lonely-mental-health/100975442/

Psalm 119:50 (CSB) “This is my comfort in my affliction: Your promise has given me life.”

An article on loneliness in USA Today gives the following prescription for overcoming persistent loneliness. “Pick up the phone and call someone. Go outside and take a walk. Spend more time interacting with others in person vs. on social media. There is no one answer — it can be complicated to address loneliness — but some small, proactive steps can help you feel better.”

Dannah Gresh in her book, The Secret of the Lord, says that the answer is to find authentic friendship in small groups.

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2017/04/30/why-do-we-feel-so-lonely-mental-health/100975442/

Psalm 25:14 (CSB) “The secret counsel of the Lord is for those who fear him, and he reveals his covenant to them.”

A British government commission found that loneliness was as harmful to health as smoking fifteen cigarettes a day. Prime Minister, Teresa May, has announced a new government position; the “minister of loneliness.”

I am not sure what this minister will be able to accomplish, but I am in favor of reducing loneliness. The British government thinks loneliness is a problem significant enough to warrant its own government department. The Bible speaks to loneliness and its solution. Discovering our own fault in loneliness and making changes is something only an individual can do. God has promised to remain with us always. Cast your cares upon Him. —Jim L. Wilson and Rodger Russell.

Elon Musk is one of the most successful businessmen in history. He is one of the only people to start four billion-dollar companies. He started PayPal, Tesla, SpaceX, and Solar City. He even put his own convertible in space. He asks aloud, “How do you make yourself happy without anyone to share your life with?” After breaking up with his girlfriend he has no one to share his luxurious lifestyle. “When I was a child, there was one thing I said: ‘I never want to be alone.’” Then he repeats, “I don’t want to be alone.”

Like Adam in the beginning, Musk seems to have everything we that makes for success. But God told Adam it wasn’t good to be alone. He created another to cure his aloneness. Whatever it takes, it is worth the effort to build good relationships. —Jim L. Wilson and Rodger Russell.

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper corresponding to him.”

Loneliness may be one of the biggest threats to public health. In a survey of 20,000 adults conducted by Ipsos for the health insurer Cigna, nearly fifty-percent of Americans indicated they were feeling alone or left out. They say that they don’t have meaningful relationships and rarely feel understood. Those affected the most were young Americans between ages eighteen and twenty-two. Previous research has shown that loneliness is associated with many physical problems, including inflammation, a weakened immune system, heart disease, and mental decline. One 2010 study found that being lonely has the same effect on mortality as smoking fifteen cigarettes a day.

God created male and female to be in relationship with others. When we neglect building meaningful relationships with others there is something missing in our personhood. Thus we feel lonely. For those who don’t have spouses or families to relate to, the church should be a source of good meaningful relationships. —Jim L. Wilson and Rodger Russell.

“Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper corresponding to him.’”

David Cordani, CEO of Cigna said “Half of Americans view themselves as lonely,” in response to the findings of a study of 20,000 adults in America conducted by his company. —Jim L. Wilson

Deuteronomy 31:6 (CSB)“Be strong and courageous; don’t be terrified or afraid of them. For the Lord your God is the one who will go with you; he will not leave you or abandon you.”

A new study that analyzed security camera footage found that: “91% of the time, bystanders watching the incidents [aggressive fights] intervened to, physically gesturing for an aggressor to calm down, physically blocking an aggressor or pulling an aggressor away, consoling the victim.” —Jim L. Wilson

Ephesians 4:32 (CSB)“And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.”

Frenchman Jean-Jacques Savin, who spent four months in a barrel with six square meters of living space, offered some unique advice to those who were confined to their homes by coronavirus. The former French paratrooper shared who he avoided cabin fever on his trans-Atlantic voyage. Savin suggested working to get physically tired, but not mentally tired. He said walking as much as possible was one way to do this. He added, “Everyone needs to embrace their passion. This time of isolation can be an opportunity for discovery – start drawing, learn to play the harmonica, if it doesn’t bother the neighbors.”—Jim L. Wilson and Jim Sandell

Jeff Gebhart, 47, of Kansas City has offered to pay anyone who can find him a girlfriend a bonus. She must take a survey, no word as to what is in the survey that Jeff approves. She must agree to date him exclusively for one year. And what would that recommending person receive from Jeff? $25,000 is the price for one year of a steady girlfriend.

I am not sure even $25,000 and a rented girlfriend is more than a stop gap for loneliness. There is an old Country Music song that says, “Looking for love in all the wrong places” I am afraid Jeff could be a cover picture for that album. Loneliness is widespread in our culture. Perhaps if you know someone like Jeff you could reach out to him in friendship. –Jim L. Wilson and Rodger Russell.

Therefore, as God’s chosen ones, holy and dearly loved, put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a grievance against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you are also to forgive. Above all, put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.

People will do anything to ease loneliness. A Japanese company has invented a machine that produces animated holograms. The Gatebox sells for $1,500 and with its artificial intelligence can talk to its owners. The company has issued 3,700 marriage certificates to men who have fallen in love with their holograms. One 36-year-old man, Akihiko Kondo invited 40 guests to his wedding. He spent $19,000 on the wedding. As much as he celebrated the happy occasion, his family was not as excited. His mother said, “It wasn’t something to celebrate.”

My heart is heavy for anyone who would look for relationships with a machine, even one that talks. Beginning with his family, he could begin to build relationships with real people. —Jim L. Wilson and Rodger Russell.

A study funded by health care insurer Cigna found that fifty-eight percent of 20,000 American reported feeling lonely in 2018. The following year, the number had increased to sixty-one percent prompted chief medical officer Doug Nemecek to say that loneliness is at epidemic proportions, and the coronavirus pandemic likely made the problem worst. Loneliness is something almost every person experience, but scientists are looking into how it impacts an individual’s health. They believe humans need community for protection and help sharing the burdens of everyday life. Without the support of community, people stay in a heightened state of alert which increases wear and tear on the body. Some long-term studies have found genes associated with cancer, cardiovascular disease, and inflammatory diseases are more common in those who are lonely. As a result, Nemecek suggested checking in on others and being open to having honest conversations about feelings and loneliness. He added, “We need to reach out to some friends and make sure we maintain those connections and have meaningful conversations. It’s important for all of us to be comfortable asking other people how they feel.”—Jim L. Wilson and Jim Sandell.

Hebrews 10:25 (CSB) “not neglecting to gather together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging each other, and all the more as you see the day approaching.”

Maike Luhmann, a psychologist at the University of Cologne in Germany says, “As long as we then do what we should do — reconnect with people — then loneliness is a good thing. It signals that we need to do something about our social connections. This is a sign from our psychological systems that there’s something off.”

In the same way that hunger reminds a person to eat, loneliness is a reminder of our need to connect with one another. When you are feeling lonely, reach out. —Jim L. Wilson

1 Thessalonians 5:11 (CSB) “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up as you are already doing.”

Dr. Lisa Firestone, the Director of Research and Education at The Glendon Association (https://www.glendon.org/), says “Even before the pandemic struck, loneliness was widely considered an epidemic in this country where 61 percent of Americans over age 18 struggle with feeling lonely. Among this group, 79 percent of Gen Zers, 71 percent of millennials, and 50 percent of baby boomers said they felt lonely.”

While the pandemic may have intensified the problem, it did not cause it. One response to feeling lonely is to intentionally be a blessing to others. —Jim L. Wilson

Philippians 2:4 (CSB) “Everyone should look not to his own interests, but rather to the interests of others.”

Dr. Jacqueline Olds, a psychiatrist at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston, gives advice for overcoming feelings of loneliness. She says, “Reaching out to tell a friend who lives across the country that you miss her (and scheduling a time to catch up) or grabbing lunch with your sister can help solidify relationships with those who truly know you, dampening feelings of loneliness.” —Jim L. Wilson

https://www.prevention.com/health/mental-health/g25993038/how-to-deal-with-loneliness/

Social distancing is causing some to feel lonelier than they did pre-Covid-19, but even with all the change brought about by the pandemic, God’s compassion and support remains. —Jim L. Wilson

A University of Chicago professor finds that those experiencing extreme loneliness have a “14% greater chance of premature death.”

Some loneliness can be addressed by deepening relationships with friends and family, but sometimes it can only be address by deepening one’s relationship with God. —Jim L. Wilson

According to Medical News Today, “There are a number of health and lifestyle factors – obesity, smoking, air pollution – that are known to be risk factors for early mortality and receive considerable attention. New research has suggested that social connections should be added to this list, with a study finding loneliness and social isolation to be risk factors for all ages.”

Social distancing is not the same as social isolation. People must find a way to maintain a physical distance while maintaining social connection. —Jim L. Wilson

Colossians 2:2 (CSB) “I want their hearts to be encouraged and joined together in love, so that they may have all the riches of complete understanding and have the knowledge of God’s mystery—Christ.”

Writing for Healthline, Ann Pietrangelo says, “Loneliness isn’t the same as being alone. You can be alone, yet not lonely. You can feel lonely in a houseful of people. It’s a feeling that you’re disconnected from others, with no one to confide in. It’s a lack of meaningful relationships and it can happen to children, older adults, and everyone in between.” —Jim L. Wilson

Deuteronomy 31:6 (CSB) “Be strong and courageous; don’t be terrified or afraid of them. For the Lord your God is the one who will go with you; he will not leave you or abandon you.”

According to the proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America, “Perceived social isolation (PSI) (loneliness) is linked to increased risk of chronic disease and mortality, and previous research has implicated up-regulated inflammation and down-regulated antiviral gene expression (the conserved transcriptional response to adversity; CTRA) as a potential mechanism for such effects.”

In plain English, loneliness lowers the effectiveness of people’s immune system. That means that as we are practicing social distancing to protect ourselves from the novel coronavirus, we run the risk of having a less effective immune response if we become lonely. We must find away to be connected, even while we remain a safe physical distance from others. —Jim L. Wilson

Genesis 2:18 (CSB) “Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper corresponding to him.’”

Writing for Psychology Today, Shainna Ali, PhD, says, “We live in an era in which communication seems simpler than times of the past. In essence, a co-worker is one email away, a friend is one text away, and a loved one is one video chat away. Although communication may be easier and faster, connection may still be complicated. Therefore, despite the reputation for practical societal advancements, our technologically advanced time is also being linked to a loneliness epidemic.” —Jim L. Wilson

Writing for Psychology Today, Shainna Ali, PhD, says, “Loneliness has been associated with cardiovascular problems and premature death. Lonelier individuals are less likely to achieve quality sleep. Lonely individuals experience reductions in reasoning and creativity.” —Jim L. Wilson

Clinical Psychologist Karra Harrington said, “Maintaining high quality relationships may be a key for protecting brain health from the negative impacts of loneliness. Older adults who feel more satisfied in their relationships have a 23% lower risk of dementia, while those who feel their relationships are supportive have a 55% lower risk of dementia, compared to those who feel dissatisfied or unsupported in their relationships.”

Many older adults are isolated under normal circumstances, still more during the global pandemic. Perhaps a phone call is in order. –Jim L. Wilson

They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching, to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread, and to prayer.

Sara Khan, vice president for liberation and equality at the UK’s National Union of Students says, “There was a mental health crisis across universities prior to the pandemic. The pandemic has only exacerbated these issues.”

“There are many students who have left home for the first time and are living with strangers that are now exposed to accommodation lockdowns and long periods of self-isolation. The mental health impact of such upheaval cannot be ignored,” she continues. —Jim L. Wilson