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JEALOUSY/ABUSE
Writing for “The Spectator,” the oldest continuously
published magazine in the English language, Theodore Dalrymple coined a helpful
term: “morbid jealousy.” His column entitled, “Black-eyed monster” exposed the
unhealthy life patterns of abusive, over-controlling jealous men. Typically,
the cycle includes unreasonable demands, abusive behavior when the partner
doesn’t meet the demands, followed by remorse for the abusive behavior,
promises never to act out again, which of course give way to the cycle beginning
again with unreasonable demands.
During the remorse stage, the abusive person usually
lavishes love and affection on their partner, but really, love isn’t the
appropriate word. Dalrymple writes, “But the morbidly jealous person does not
love his lover; he loves himself, unfortunately, with a tender, extremely
inflamed and fragile ego.”
—http://www.lewrockwell.com/spectator/spec104.html, 26 July
2003
Jealousy is not love, because love is self-giving, while
jealousy is self-serving.
1 Cor. 13:4 NLT “Love is patient and kind. Love is not
jealous or boastful or proud.”
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