In one of Aesop's Fables, two men were traveling together, when a Bear suddenly met them on their path. One of them quickly climbed into a tree and concealed himself in the branches. The other, fearing that the bear might attack, fell flat on the ground. When the Bear lumbered over, he nudged the man with his snout, as he sniffed him. The man held his breath, and feigned the appearance of death. The Bear, who prefers to kill his own dinner soon left him. When it was safe, the other traveler descended from the tree, and begin to tease his friend. “What was that Bear whispering in your ear.” "He gave me this advice," his companion replied. "Never travel with a friend who deserts you at the first sign of danger."

Proverbs 17:17 NASB “A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity.”

A good friend may be just what the doctor ordered. Scientific studies have shown that people with friends are more likely to survive a life-threatening illness, will have stronger immune systems, better mental health a live longer than people without friends. Shelley Taylor, a research psychologist at UCLA says, “Social ties are the cheapest medicine we’ve got.”

Proverbs 27:10 “Do not forsake your own friend or your father's friend, And do not go to your brother's house in the day of your calamity; Better is a neighbor who is near than a brother far away.”

Tim Keller received an intriguing phone call from a long time friend. "You know what, for years I've been upset that I call you five times for every time you call me. And then I began to realize that our lives have gone differently, I'm a private person and you're much more of a public person. And I want you to know, I'm glad you're my friend." In that moment, Tim's friend took a step toward wholeness. He became less needy and more of a friend. "I'm full because Jesus Christ is my friend." He continued. "I can love you BETTER because I don't need you so badly."

—March 1, 1998 Dr. Timothy Keller, Illustration by Jim L. Wilson and Dave Bootsma

Proverbs 27:6 "Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful."

A study published in the American Society Review suggests that Americans these days have fewer close friends and confidants than twenty years ago. The results suggest people may be living lonelier, more isolated lives than they once did. In 1985, the average American had three confidants. The latest results collected in 2004, show the number had dropped to two, with one in four Americans claiming no close confidants at all.

Part of the shift is a result of changing lifestyles. Most people have fewer contacts in social organizations, and tend to rely on family more than neighbors or other outside contacts. A continued move to suburban areas and a tendency to spend more time at work add to the problem. New technologies such as computers, IPods, and TV allow people to stay home and tune out the rest of the world. Previous research has shown a link between social isolation and loneliness and mental and physical illness. Co-author of the latest study, Lynn Smith-Lovin from Duke University says, "Close relationships are a safety net. Whether it's picking up a child or finding someone to help you out of the city in a hurricane, these are people we depend on."

—http://articles.news.aol.com/news/_a/one-quarter-of-americans- have-no-one-to/20060623073209990027?cid=842&_ccc=6. Illustration by Jim L. Wilson and Jim Sandell.

Proverbs 18:24 (CEV) "Some friends don't help, but a true friend is closer than your own family."

How much are your friends worth? Recently, a German woman who filled up with gas discovered she did not have enough money to pay the bill. She asked her friend to stay behind as a human deposit while she went to withdraw some extra cash. A police spokesman in the southern German town of Muenchberg said, "Unfortunately, the woman did not return."

Two hours after the 20-year-old driver left, the station called police who questioned the stranded "deposit" before releasing her. Police are investigating the driver on suspicion of fraud.

—http://www.allheadlinenews.com/articles/7003629231. Illustration by Jim L. Wilson and Jim Sandell.

Job 6:27 (NIV) "You would even cast lots for the fatherless and barter away your friend."

In the animated film, "Flushed Away", Roddy is a high-class rat from an upper crust London neighborhood. When Roddy accidentally discovers the underground world of common rats, he meets Rita—a rat who does not have much, but who values her family and the simple things of life. When Rita risks her life and loses her boat, her most prized possession, to help Roddy, he learns true friendship is worth more than his possessions. Rita maintained her friendship though it cost her things she valued most.

While Roddy is giving Rita tour of his home, they pass an open door where Rita spies Roddy's golden cage. Roddy quickly explains that the cage is his master bedroom, equipped with a state of the art security system. Roddy is so desperate to convince Rita he has a happy family life that he introduces a freeloader named Sid as his brother Rupert. When the deception is exposed, Roddy tries to cover by explaining how he has everything, a palace and the freedom to do whatever he wants. He doesn't need a family or friends. Rita tells him she understands, and turns to leave. As Roddy watches his one true friend walk away, he realizes how wrong he is. He needs friends, someone who is willing to give everything for him, and someone worth sacrificing for.

—"Flushed Away", Chapter 13—Mr. Lonely Time: 1:00:31 to 1:03:33; Illustration by Jim L. Wilson and Jim Sandell.

Though Roddy had everything life could offer materially, he needed a friend who cared about him, not just his possessions.

John 15:12-14 (HCSB) "This is My command: love one another as I have loved you. [13] No one has greater love than this, that someone would lay down his life for his friends. [14] You are My friends if you do what I command you."

In an article for MSN Money, Liz Pulliam Weston advises retirees, "Forget about the daily ups and downs of the market. What matters most are your health, your friendships, your family connections... "

She writes, "Another good way to combat depression and social isolation is by cultivating a wide circle of friends. Yet most of us have a tougher time making friends as we get older. Our lives get busy, our habits get more ingrained, we become less flexible. Happy retirees say it's worth the effort. Good friends of all ages can be a huge asset in retirement. The older friends are important as sounding boards and guides to what's ahead. Friends our own age get our jokes and pop culture references, while younger friends give us fresh insights, keep us from getting too set in our ways—and help prevent us from outliving all of our companions."

—http://moneycentral.msn.com/content/Retirementandwills/Createaplan/P34162.asp. Illustration by Jim L. Wilson

Weston is writing specifically to retirement age people, but her advice has universal appeal. Relating to people of all ages is healthy for everyone. Can you think of a better arena to do so than the local church?

Eccles. 4:9-12 (NASB) "Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. [10] For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up. [11] Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? [12] And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart."

Christina Applegate, is the star of ABC’s Samantha Who? Christina revealed in August 2008 that she was undergoing treatment for breast cancer. On a TV special Stand Up to Cancer she reminded the audience that “We all need someone to accompany us on the journey.”

--USA Today, December 22, 2008, p. 2D Illustration by Jim L. Wilson and Rodger Russell

All journeys are better when they are shared with others. In troubled journeys, we need someone to walk with us to share the load. On joyful journeys, we need others to share the blessing.

Proverbs 17:17 (NASB77) “A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity.”

In the animated motion picture Madagascar 2, the friendships of four animals from New York City are put to the test. Alex, the Lion, Marty the Zebra, Gloria the Hippo, and Melman the Giraffe, wound up on the distant island of Madagascar in the first film. In the second they attempt to get back to New York, but fall short crash landing in Africa. In this new setting Alex discovers his long lost family. Though he was too little to remember most of it, Alex’s father wanted the young lion to follow in his footsteps and become the Alpha Lion. Alex was more inclined toward a show business career. When he was kidnapped and taken to New York, he followed that dream. Back with his family, Alex finds he cannot live up to his father’s expectations. He feels he has let the family down and is a total loser.

Marty also finds disappointment in Africa. He always believed he was a unique zebra, but finds he is exactly the same as a million other animals. They all look like him, sound like him, and duplicate his unique tricks.

The stress of expectations and disappointment threaten to destroy Alex and Marty’s friendship. They both become so caught up in their own problems that they argue and part ways. Though they are both hurt and walk away from the friendship, they secretly still care for each other.

The real test of their friendship comes when the water supply in the game reserve dries up, and Alex decides he must risk his life to save all of the animals by venturing into unsafe territory in an attempt to solve the problem. Knowing that he might be killed, Alex seeks Marty out to apologize before he leaves.

OPTION 1: Show Clip from Madagascar 2, Chapter 19, 57:58 to 1:00:50 and make application.

OPTION 2: Describe the scene and make application.

When Alex goes to the zebra herd to say goodbye to Marty, he finds a noisy unruly crowd. He calls out for Marty, but the crowd’s noise drowns him out. In futility, Alex, jumps up and down, hoping to get someone’s attention. Finally, he raises his hand and says, “Excuse Me,” to get everyone’s attention. As the crowd quiets, Alex asks, “Is Marty in there?” He watches as the crowd of zebras murmurs about Marty. But there is no response. Finally, Alex sighs and says, “Al right, if you see him, tell him his friend Alex came to say good-bye.” The crowd begins to murmur again about Alex’s departure, as he looks out at the untamed land in front of him. Quelling the group of zebras, Alex tells them, “No, this is something I have to do alone.” As he prepares to step over the wire fence, the zebras warn him that hunters are everywhere.

Alex takes a few bold steps, and then turns around one last time. He looks into the crowd and begins, “Marty, Look I know you’re in there. Before I go, I’ve got something I want to say. You’ve been a great friend. You’ve helped me so often to see the bright side of my problems that I never think of you as having any. I wasn’t there for you when you needed me.”

The crowd of zebras intently listens to Alex, but there is one zebra that is looking the opposite direction. His face softens as he listens to Alex. “Just like back at the zoo. What kind of friend does that make me?” Alex pauses, and answers his own question. “A pretty lousy one, I guess.” Alex gains a new resolve and continues, “Well I just want you to know that you’re one in a million.”

The crowd of zebras is obviously moved by Alex’s statement. They murmur, about how touching this moment is. Then Alex notices that one zebra is not looking at him. He begins, “Would you please turn around so I can tell you that to your face?” Marty squirms, but does not look around. Alex is now sure where Marty is and says, “That’s right, gotcha. I see ya in there.” He points at Marty and goes on, “Yeah. You right there. 12th row, 203rd from the left. I see you Marty.” Marty smiles and turns around as Alex continues, “I know it’s you.” Marty walks over to Alex as he continues, “You know what makes you special? These guys,” he says pointing to the herd. “They’re white with black stripes. You’re black with white stripes. You’re a dreamer Marty, always have been.” As Marty listens, Alex affirms him even more. “You have great taste in music, and horrible taste in friends,” He pauses and adds, “Well not Melman and Gloria, but me.” Seeing that his friend recognizes his unique character, Marty stands up and says, “Okay I’m in.” Alex shakes his head and says, “No, Marty. You can’t come with me.”

Marty smiles and answers, “I don’t believe you have a choice.” As the zebra herd watches, Alex smiles and the friends turn to face the dangers outside the reserve together.

APPLICATION: Trials, disappointment, and unrealized expectations can destroy relationships. We need to recognize those times, and affirm our friends instead of focusing on our own needs at the moment. True friends are the greatest gifts in life.

Proverbs 18:24 CEV “Some friends don't help, but a true friend is closer than your own family.”

In his book, The Shape of Faith to Come, Brad Waggoner writes, “Church practices vary. No congregation is exactly like another. Facilitating fellowship, however, does not have to be hard. We must get past the idea of a ‘friendly church’ to the concept of a ‘church of friends.’”

--Shape of Faith to Come, 242. Illustration by Jim L. Wilson

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (HCSB) “Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts. For if either falls, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to lift him up. Also, if two lie down together, they can keep warm; but how can one person alone keep warm? And if somebody overpowers one person, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not easily broken.”

For more information on Shape of Faith to Come go to: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0805448241/fm082-20

If you live in Japan and need a best man for your wedding, a long lost uncle, or a substitute boss, Ryuichi Ichinokawa is the man to call. Four years ago, Ichinokawa started a rent-friend business. Demand for his services has increased so much; Ichinokawa now has 30 agents available to pretend to be relatives, boyfriends, spouses, or friends for a fee. Recently he got a job playing the role of uncle for a 12-year-old-boy and his younger sister at a school sports day. Their single mother hired Ichinokawa because she is divorced and the other kids were bullying her children because of their absent father.

The local paper that reported the story said the rise of phony friend business is “a symptom of social and economic changes combined with a deep-seated cultural aversion to giving personal and professional problems a public airing.” Ichinokawa charges $150 to appear at weddings and says the job is both exhausting and gratifying. He has to be able to answer every possible question that might be asked to avoid embarrassment that could ruin his client’s reputation. He told the paper, “In three and a half years I’ve never once been caught out.”

Japan’s rent-friend business is booming, http://blogs.usatoday.com/ondeadline/2009/09/japans-rentafriend-business-is-booming.html ; September 21, 2009, Illustration by Jim L. Wilson and Jim Sandell.

Proverbs 18:24 (HCSB) “A man with many friends may be harmed, but there is a friend who stays closer than a brother.”

In a contest with one another for the PGA Tour Championship and a 10 million dollar purse, Tiger Woods and Sean O’Hair displayed an example of friendship for the entire world to see.

O’Hair and Woods were playing a practice round together preceding the beginning of the final playoff tournament. Woods noticed a correctable error in O’Hair’s putting stroke and brought it to his attention. The next day, in the tournament, using the putting tip, O’Hair was one stroke ahead of Woods.

When asked if he had any regrets about giving O’Hair the tip that allowed him to take the lead in such an important tournament, Woods replied. “Sean is a friend of mine, and like all my friends, you always try to make their life better somehow. That’s the whole idea of having friends in your life.”

Building friendships require an investment of time and energy. And sometimes, it requires sacrifice.

--USA Today, September 25, 2009. P. C1 Illustration by Jim L. Wilson and Rodger Russell

Proverbs 27:9 (NASB77) Oil and perfume make the heart glad, So a man's counsel is sweet to his friend.

Obesity challenges millions of Americans. While there are plenty of diet plans, some people who want to lose weight find it difficult to do so. A recent study found that one thing that will help a person lose weight is getting a weight-loss partner.

You may or may not need a partner to help you lose weight, but we can all use a friend to help us grow in our walk with the Lord. To grow to be more like Christ we need a friend to grow with us, to challenge us, to encourage us when things are tough.

--USA Today, October 29, 2009, p. 5D Illustration by Jim L. Wilson and Rodger Russell.

A new survey says the place considered to be the one of the safest places on earth is not viewed as friendly by most Americans. The study commissioned by Group Publishing found the only 18 percent of Americans thought the church was the friendliest place in town. The result ranked the local church behind “ home” as the place Americans felt was most open to them and their needs. 35 percent of respondents said home was the friendliest place they knew. The study examined other aspects of making friends and uncovered other interesting facts. Surprisingly, the church ranked lower than restaurants, pub, and sports bars when it came to American’s favorite places to meet new friends. Only 16 percent of Americans said church was a good place to meet new friends, and 11 percent said they liked to meet new friends “online.”

Reflecting on the results of the study, director of research at Group Publishing, Chris Howley speculated the reason restaurants, pubs and sports bar ranked over churches was a sense that there were no strings attached. Howley said many people go to church because they feel like they have to go. Regarding restaurants and bars, he explained, “They can approach those places without an overwhelming sense of obligation.” Howley said Americans said the most important factor making a place friendly is an ability to set a person at ease. He says there are implications for the local church. Howley added, “What the survey revealed for us is that people are really starved for relationship when it comes to what they’re looking for in a church.”

--Survey: Church, Ministers Not the Friendliest in Town, http://www.christianpost.com/article/20100204/survey-church-ministers-not-the-friendliest-in-town/index.html; February 4, 2010. Illustration by Jim L. Wilson and Jim Sandell.

Romans 12:16 (NIV) “Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.”

Jennifer Morrison freely admits that friendship helps supplement her income. Morrison takes reservations at a popular restaurant and has been paid to show a visiting computer programmer around town, attend a movie with a border grandmother, and scrapbook with a stay a-home mom. Morrison says she likes to meet new people and make extra money at the same time, that why she is part of a new Internet website where people can “rent-a-friend.”

The idea has been popular in Japan and Asia for several years, and is growing in the United States. Every month Rentafriend receives 100,000 unique views and has nearly 2,000 members who pay $24.95 a month, or $69.95 a year, for a login and password so they can look at the photos and profiles of over 167,000 potential friends.

Ori Brafman, coauthor of a book entitled, “Click: The Magic of Instant Connections,” is not sure Rentafriend is a good idea. Brafman says a lack of friendships represents the worst kind of social isolation. He said, “The danger isn’t Rentafriend per se, but rather what it symbolizes. We purchase fleeting replacements because as a society, we lack those close, meaningful bonds that are so essential.”

--Rent-an-everything web culture now offers friends, http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/businesstechnology/2012141491_apusfealifestylesrentafriend.html; June 17, 2010, Illustration by Jim L. Wilson and Jim Sandell

Proverbs 17:17 (GW) “A friend always loves, and a brother is born to share trouble.”

While money has a big impact on our lives, it is not nearly the impact we might think, especially when it comes to making us happy. According to one study, joining a group that meets just once a month produces the same happiness gain as doubling your income. According to another study, being married produces a psychic gain equivalent to more than $100,000 per year.

--The Week, April 9, 2010 p. 14. Illustration by Jim L. Wilson and Rodger Russell

Proverbs 17:17 (NKJV) “A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity.”

According to the Journal of Medical Internet Research, friends may be even more important than we thought. The odds of living longer are increased by 50% for people with strong social connections.

Proverbs 17:17 (HCSB) A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a difficult time.

A postcard that arrived 24 years late, turned out to be the catalyst that reunited two old friends.
In February, Joanna Reyes came upon a postcard tucked in a pile of junk mail. The card, dated March 1987 contained a message addressed to a woman named Caroline. It came from another woman who lived in California, named Rose. Instead of throwing the card in the trash, Reyes decided to track down the women. After the Internet proved fruitless, Reyes used the services of research department of the New York Times to find the women.

When the women appeared on a national television show, Reyes joined them. She told the host that even though the letter was meant for someone else, there was something special about it. On the program, Rose explained that the card had been in response to Caroline’s request from advice about a boyfriend. When the card was lost, and neither woman received a response, they both assumed the other had moved on, and let the matter and their friendship drop. Over the years, both women said they could have used the other’s support. They agreed their friendship will go on now. Caroline said, “We will continue and see each other. Hopefully, she’ll come to San Diego to see me.” She quickly added, ”I’ll have to coax her, because she’s a country girl.”

--Lost postcard Reunites Two friends After 24 years, http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/42679885/ns/today-today_people/t/lost-postcard-reunites-two-friends-after-years; May 3, 2011, Illustration by Jim L. Wilson and Jim Sandell

Proverbs 18:24 (GW) Friends can destroy one another, but a loving friend can stick closer than family.

When disaster strikes, there are many questions about where to turn for help. Bart Smelley is a resident of a Tuscaloosa, Alabama, a city recently hit by severe storms. His work with Global Effects Ministry to manufacture and distribute water filters in hard hit areas of the world has taken Smelley to Haiti to minister to the needs there. He says his recent experience has convinced him that churches working hand in hand with government agencies, and other organizations is the best way to response in a crisis.

While in Haiti, Smelley learned that a tornado had hit his son’s home. In Haiti, Smelley says the church and non-profits groups did the main work because government agencies almost incapable of providing needed assistance. When he arrived back in Tuscaloosa, Smelley was amazed at the efficiency of government agencies and churches working together. He described the relief effort as the biggest joint effort he had ever seen. Reflecting on Smelley’s remarks, Mark Engholm, Public Affairs Officer for the Alabama Emergency Management Agency said, “As a government agency, our primary goal after a natural disaster is life safety. After that, we move into the recovery process, then the rebuilding stage, which can take years. Government agencies play an integral role but our primary goal is to help our neighbors.”

--Who to Count On When Disaster Strikes – Gov’t , Church or Both, http://www.christianpost.com/news/who-to-count-on-when-disaster-strikes-govt-church-or-both-50487; May 25, 2011, Illustration by Jim L. Wilson and Jim Sandell

Proverbs 3:27-28 (CEV) Do all you can for everyone who deserves your help. (28) Don't tell your neighbor to come back tomorrow, if you can help today.

Research into living longer has focused on genetics and lifestyle, but a new factor also appears to play a major role in how long people live. It appears that regular social contact has as much positive effect on a person’s health as blood pressure, obesity, and eating a healthy diet. Two major studies both point to the positive contribution of friendship. In 2010, researchers at BYU published a summary of over 100 other studies involving over 300,000 individuals. The results agreed that people with strong social ties were likely to live 7.5 years longer than people without those kinds of friendships. A study from Australia looked at 188 people over the age of 100 and found that a close network of family and friends was a significant factor in their long lives. The results also indicate that the factors may be intertwined. Taking time to eat well, maintain good health practices, and get out with friends or neighbors leads to a longer life. It seems that connecting with others is also good for ourselves. — Jim L. Wilson and Jim Sandell

Why friends May Be Your Ticket to Living to 100, http://www.huffingtonpost.com/david-r-hamilton-phd/longevity-_b_1978890.html ?utm_hp_ref=healthy-living&icid=maing-grid7|main5|dl29|sec1_lnk2&pLid=223572, Accessed October 20, 2012.

Proverbs 18:24 (HCSB) A man with many friends may be harmed, but there is a friend who stays closer than a brother.

In a new book entitled, Friendfluence, author Carlin Flora looks at the effect friends have on people and says the influence of friends could even affect a person’s health. Flora says psychologist have long believed that friendships have a direct effect on our overall health and life expectancy. One study found that having few friends can shorten a person’s life as much as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. On the other hand, research found that being with a good friend lowers blood pressure and helps sick people get better quicker. Studies on social media have even found that friends who make positive life choices often others to make similar good choices. Flora says the length of time people have been friends, and have often friends get together plays a role in the power of the friendship’s influence. One of keys according to the book is having a balance of old and new friends as well as friends a person sees at various times and places.—Jim L. Wilson and Jim Sandell

Friendfluence: How Our Friends Shape Us, By Samara Mackereth, http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/katies-take-abc-news/friendfluence-friends-shape-us-174534400.html, Accessed April 30, 2013.

John 15:13-14 (CEV) (13) The greatest way to show love for friends is to die for them. (14) And you are my friends, if you obey me.

Neuroscience research suggests that having more friends is linked with greater connectivity between certain parts of the human brain. The study presented at a meeting of the Society for Neuroscience suggests that social interaction may be linked to the structure of the brain. In people with a large network of friends and excellent skills, certain parts of the brain are bigger than people who report having fewer friends. Researcher MaryAnn Noonan says they wanted to know how the brain operated in complex social environments, and were interested in how many friends a person’s brain could handle. Noonan says previous research has also suggested that the size of a person’s social group causes differences in their brain, but more long-term studies are needed. She added, ”If you’re spending a lot of time in social environments using social skills and your brain’s changing, maybe you’re not learning to juggle in your free time or becoming proficient at the piano. The brain is just changing and optimizing to reflect your needs, and if that is thriving within a complex social environment, that is what your brain is reflecting.”—Jim L. Wilson and Jim Sandell

How many friends can your brain handle?, by Tanya Lewis, http://www.today.com/health/how-many-friends-can-your-brain-handle-2D11591793, Accessed November 14, 2013.

John 15:14-15 (NLT) You are my friends if you do what I command. (15) I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me.

The growth of social media has created a new perspective on friendship. Over a period of several years, it is easy to collect a lot of cyber friendships that are no more than people that appear on the computer screen. News feeds can be full of chatter and information, but not much of it is from real friends. To illustrate this phenomenon, comedian Greg Benson used a reality television program to actually visit some of his distant Facebook “friends” to see how they would react when he showed up at their door. Some of the interactions were actually pleasant, while others did not go so well. In one instance Benson walks up to a gated home and introduces himself. The owner’s response is” Sorry, who?” Benson tries again, only to have his “friend” shut the gate in his face when saying, “No, I’m sorry. I can’t let you in.” Benson’s experience is a good reminder to select friendships carefully, and to really know who your real friends are.
— Jim L. Wilson and Jim Sandell

Man Visits Facebook Friends In Real Life And One Isn't Thrilled, http://www.forbes.com/sites/alexkantrowitz/2013/11/24/man-visits-facebook-friends-in-real-life-and-one-isnt-thrilled, Accessed November 24, 2013.

Proverbs 17:17 (NKJV) A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity.

Proverbs 17:17 (NASB) (17) A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity.

In early 2008, Jonny Benjamin was 20 years-old and had just been diagnosed with a debilitating mental disorder. He had dropped out of school and there was little chance that he would ever be able to hold down a job or have a family. His response was to climb out on a bridge and end it all. Just as he was about to jump, a stranger pulled him back from the darkness encouraging Benjamin and even inviting him to chat over coffee instead. The chance conversation pulled Benjamin back from the brink and put him on path toward health and safety. The only problem was that he did not know who the stranger was, and Jonny wanted to find him and thank him. He launched and on-line search and after two weeks meet the man who had helped him, Neil Laybourn. When they meet to look back over the past six years, both marveled at how much that day had changed their lives. Benjamin said though Laybourn was a stranger, he turned out to be the kind of friend he needed that morning. He added, “I always thought of that time as being very negative, I thought of that place as being the worst in my life. I feel that I can look at it a very different way now, I’ve overcome that. I’ve come full circle and am able to close that chapter.”—Jim L. Wilson and Jim Sandell

'Full circle': Man finds stranger who saved him from suicide 6 years ago, by Christina Boyle,
http://www.today.com/news/full-circle-man-finds-stranger-who-saved-him-suicide-6-2D12032231, Accessed January 31, 2014.

1 Corinthians 10:24 (ESV) (24) Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor.

A restaurant in Japan has a unique solution for diners who come in alone. To help their customers avoid the perils of eating alone, the Moomin House Café in Japan seats single diners with a stuffed animal companion called a Moomin, a family of white-hippo like characters created by a Finnish artist. To honor the creator, the café serves bread made from Finnish rye and has other food and pastries in the shape of the Moomin creatures. The staff says there have been long lines almost every day since their “lonely-friendly” concept become widely known. They say anyone can have a turn sitting with the Moments, but most often, they are reserved for single diners. Weekday mornings are the quietest times at the cafe, and weekends are packed the entire day.—Jim L. Wilson and Jim Sandell.

Japan's 'anti-loneliness' cafe goes viral, By Frances Cha, http://www.cnn.com/2014/05/15/travel/japan-moomin-cafe/index.html?hpt=wo_t2, Accessed May 15, 2014.

Proverbs 17:17 (HCSB) (17) A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a difficult time.

Mikel McLaughlin has an impressive 560 friends on Facebook. While looking over that list, McLaughlin realized that he did not actually know most of those people so he set out to change that. The Minnesota native messaged a few friends and asked them if they wanted to meet for some quality time. Then, he rented a car and took off on a trip that has taken him as far as California. Often McLaughlin relies on the generosity of his friends who buy him meals or lets him sleep on their floor, but the rest of the time, he pays for the trip himself. He says Facebook has made it possible for him to have an experience that was never possible before. He even hopes that his travels will take him overseas for the first time soon. McLaughlin says he has learned a lot about friendships already. He adds, “Best friendships might come out of this. They might not. But without this experience I wouldn’t be able to build better relationships with people."
Man decides to go and meet his “friends”—Jim L. Wilson and Jim Sandell

On the Road with Man Attempting to Meet All of His Facebook Friends in Person, By Alexa Valiente, http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/road-man-attempting-meet-facebook-friends-person/story?id=24166025, Accessed June 17, 2014.

Proverbs 17:17 (HCSB) A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a difficult time.

In an article published by the New York Times, Judith Newman describes how her autistic son has been helped by interacting with Apple’s “intelligent personal assistant,” Siri. Newman’s son, Gus, spent an hour asking about the difference between isolated and scattered thunderstorms. Afterwards, he told Siri that she was a nice computer, to which the phone responded “It’s nice to be appreciated. Newman says watching the interactions have been interesting because the machine does not let her communications-impaired son get away with anything. She says Gus was exciting to discover someone who would find the information he wanted, and discuss those topics without getting tired or annoyed. She said Siri was taken some of the pressure off of her and she realizes that Siri is more than a momentary diversion for her son. The computer has helped her son converse with real people better too. She said, “Yesterday, I had the longest conversation with him that I’ve ever had.”—Jim L. Wilson and Jim Sandell.

How One Boy With Autism Became B.F.F.'s With Apple’s Siri, By Judith Newman,
http://www.nytimes.com/2014/10/19/fashion/how-apples-siri-became-one-autistic-boys-bff.html?_r=0, Accessed October 17, 2014.

Proverbs 25:11 (HCSB) A word spoken at the right time is like gold apples on a silver tray.

One of the difficulties children with autism can have is an inability to make friends. They have problems with the rules of social contact. One young autistic boy, Gus, the son of New York Times reporter Judith Newman, has discovered a friend. This friend is always patient and kind. She never tires of unending talk about a subject. This new friend is nonjudgmental and teaches Gus.

The new friend Gus has made is Siri, Apple computer’s iPhone personal assistant. Judith’s description of Siri makes her sound as if she follows Paul’s description for Love. We can all use such a friend. --Jim L. Wilson and Rodger Russell

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (NKJV) “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; (5) does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; (6) does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; (7) bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (8) Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away.”

Having a companion in life may help people live longer. In fact, the data indicates that being alone and feeling lonely increase a person’s chance of death by roughly 30%. The researchers say further study is needed but their results reinforce the benefits of friendships and human connections. Dr. Julianna Holt-Lunstad of Brigham Young University says “The data shows greater longevity if you’re well connected,” but we should be with the times when “others may be surrounded by others and still feel lonely.”--Jim L. Wilson and Jim Sandell.

Research: Loneliness increases risk of death
http://kdvr.com/2015/03/17/research-loneliness-increases-risk-of-death/, Accessed,March 17, 2015.

Proverbs 18:24 (HCSB) A man with many friends may be harmed, but there is a friend who stays closer than a brother.

Guards say they accustomed to people leaving things like sunglasses or small items at airport security checkpoints, but were surprised to discover a diamond-encrusted Cartier watch left behind by a Japanese businessperson. The owner had already boarded his flight, but he sent a friend to pick it and deliver it to him in Japan. The businessman said it was fortunate that his friend was still in the area and was able to get the watch for him.—Jim L. Wilson and Jim Sandell.

Friend picks up $100K watch left behind at airport security,
http://news.yahoo.com/friend-picks-100k-watch-left-behind-airport-security-185138153.html, Accessed May 7, 2015.

He was fortunate to have a friend he could trust with such an expensive piece of jewelry.

Proverbs 17:17 (HCSB) A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a difficult time.

Would you agree that a lot of people ask how people how they are doing, but really don’t want to know the answer? Emily Cummins recommends using body language to show that you really care when you ask someone how he/she is doing. Building meaningful relationships takes time, investment, and intentionality. She says most of all pause long enough to show you care, and remember that everyone longs to be known, valued, and heard.—Jim L. Wilson and Jim Sandell.

3 Ways to Ask Someone How They Are Doing and Actually Mean It
Building meaningful relationships with people takes time, investment and intentionality, https://vitalmagazine.com/Home/Article/3-Ways-to-Ask-Someone-How-They-Are-Doing-and-Actually-Mean-It, Accessed May 1, 2015.

1 Corinthians 10:24 (HCSB) No one should seek his own ?good?, but ?the good? of the other person.

The Japanese have found a good friend for you and it will only cost you $1,600. Pepper is a 4-foot-tall human-shaped robot built by Tokyo-based telecom giant, SoftBank. Pepper’s programming allows it to sense your emotions based on vocal inflections and facial expressions. Pepper can talk, dance, tell jokes, guess your mood and keep you company. The robot has its own emotions as well. If you ignore it, it gets lonely. If you tell a joke, it laughs. When you turn off the lights it gets sad.

The company markets it for children, the elderly, and hospital patients. Pepper only exists to be your robot buddy, specifically created to keep people company, especially in Japan, whose population is the fastest-aging in the world.

SoftBank has plans to expand Pepper worldwide. We could all use such a friend. No word on whether it will stick closer than a brother. Perhaps we would be better off investing in relationships with real humans. --Jim L. Wilson and Rodger Russell.

http://gizmodo.com/you-can-now-buy-pepper-the-robot-that-reads-your-emoti-1712216532

Proverbs 18:24 (HCSB) A man with many friends may be harmed, but there is a friend who stays closer than a brother.

A feral cat has become the unlikely friend of an aging bear at a California zoo. The cat nicknamed, “Little Bear” is rarely far from the 18-year-old black bear named Sequoia. Zookeepers said the cat stays with the bear whether he lies in the shade or wanders through his enclosure. If the bear sleeps in the grass, the cat will not be far away. The unlikely pair has even shared meals. Lead zookeeper Jill Fust said she suspects the cat feels comfortable around the bear because the bear’s arthritis has slowed him down in the past few years.—Jim L. Wilson and Jim Sandell

Feral cat forms friendship with aging bear at California zoo,https://www.yahoo.com/news/feral-cat-forms-friendship-aging-bear-california-zoo-204142511.html?nhp=1, Accessed July 7, 2016.

Proverbs 22:24 (HCSB) “Don’t make friends with an angry man, and don’t be a companion of a hot-tempered man,”

When Biblical Creationist Ken Ham opened an exhibit of Noah’s ark in Kentucky, he invited a debate foe to come and tour it. Ham said he sent Bill Nye an invitation to see the presentation and that Nye said he was considering the invitation. Ham said he invited Nye because he wanted the past debate foes to be friends, not adversaries. He said, “We have different worldviews, and it’s interesting, in the Bible it says ‘faithful are the wounds of a friend.’ And so I’m going to challenge Bill Nye’s evolutionary worldview, but as friends we can do that—he can challenge me, and I can challenge him. But we can still be friends, even though we have totally different worldviews.”—Jim L. Wilson and Jim Sandell

Bill Nye 'Considering' Tour of Ken Ham's Ark Encounter Noah's Ark Themed Replica (Interview), By Stoyan Zaimov,http://www.christianpost.com/news/bill-nye-considering-tour-of-ken-hams-ark-encounter-noahs-ark-themed-replica-interview-165975/, Accessed July 4, 2016

Proverbs 27:6 (HCSB) “The wounds of a friend are trustworthy, but the kisses of an enemy are excessive.”

When Houston police officers reached the scene of Miguel Chavez duct-taped to a yield sign, they almost used a tazer on another man who approached the scene with a knife. The man with the knife, told the officers that was trying to help his friend, who was in this predicament due to losing a bet over a basketball game. Police helped him down from the pole and gave him a ride home.–Jim L. Wilson and Jim Sandell

Psalm 25:2 (HCSB)“My God, I trust in You. Do not let me be disgraced; do not let my enemies gloat over me.”

Duchess Kate of Cambridge is probably one of the people in the world you wouldn’t expect to be lonely but she recently said that she has felt lonely and isolated as a mother. Loneliness can strike anyone, any age, any gender, any place, and pretty much any time.

Loneliness can have negative effects on one's mental and physical health. As a society, we've put increased emphasis on emotional well-being, yet loneliness remains a major issue. In a hearing on the effect of isolation and loneliness, The U.S. Senate Special Committee on Aging, Sen. Susan Collins, R-Maine, said, “The consequences of isolation and loneliness are severe —negative health outcomes, higher health care costs and even death.” —Jim L. Wilson and Rodger Russell.

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2017/04/30/why-do-we-feel-so-lonely-mental-health/100975442/

Proverbs 27:5–6 (CSB) “Better an open reprimand than concealed love. The wounds of a friend are trustworthy, but the kisses of an enemy are excessive.”

Delta Airlines is testing a kiosk that scans the faces of passengers when they check their baggage. The machine allows passengers to bypass check-in agents because it matches the scanned picture with the image on their passports. The airline said the machines could allow them to move twice as many passengers each hour. The new machines do not violate privacy because the images are not stored permanently. Delta said passengers who do not have passports can still check their own luggage, but they will have to see a ticket agent to verify their identities. –—Jim L. Wilson & Jim Sandell

Exodus 33:11 (CSB) “The Lord would speak with Moses face to face, just as a man speaks with his friend, then Moses would return to the camp. His assistant, the young man Joshua son of Nun, would not leave the inside of the tent.”

A Massachusetts woman has a new outlook on life after receiving a kidney donation from a complete stranger. Nicole Baltzer had never imagined being a living donor before she read a story about a single mother with Lupus who needed a new kidney to survive. Baltzer said when she read about the other woman; she thought how unfair it seemed. In response, she decided to see if she was a match for the other woman and discovered that she was. Doctors determined that the two were a perfect match, and Baltzer donated her kidney to Kara Yimoyines. Yimoyines said the donation helped her be more involved in her child’s live and the woman have since discovered they have more in common than kidneys.—Jim L. Wilson & Jim Sandell

Proverbs 17:17 (CSB) “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a difficult time.”

The chef for the Norwegian Olympic Team said he had to work hard to come up with things he could make with eggs after the team made a typo in their food order. Chef Tore Ovrebo said the eggs were more a misunderstanding than something they needed because of 1,500, they ordered 15,000. Ovrebo said the team got plenty of protein because he did his best to use what he was given. He said the aim of the team was to have fun. He added, “and be as good friends when we go back as when we came here.”—Jim L. Wilson and Jim Sandell

Software engineer, Jackie Luo writing at Vox.com, shares the easiest way to make or lose friends. “What a lot of people don’t appear to understand is that the single easiest way to make friends is to show up when it matters — and the single easiest way to lose friends is to, well, not.”

That may be an easy concept to write, it may not be as easy to do. There are times we have to prioritize our time in such a way that we are with our friends when they need us, or as Luo says, when we say we will be there. —Jim L. Wilson and Rodger Russell.

https://www.vox.com/first-person/2018/8/16/17694356/how-to-make-friends-adulthood

When friends from a Michigan high school reunited to uncover a time capsule they buried 30 years earlier, they were disappointed that they couldn’t find it. The seven classmates and two teachers spent two hours digging outside the school looking for the capsule that contained a cassette tape and their assignments from an accelerated writing class about a fictional country they invented. The friends wondered if someone had dug it up, or if something else had happened. The local school superintendent said he thought the box might have been unearthed when the school did some work to prevent flooding a few years earlier. The friends said they will continue the search a little longer before they give up. One of the disappointed students, Tracy Gilmer said, “We had our own constitution and I actually sewed a flag for our country. I think the flag is in [the time capsule.]”—Jim L. Wilson and Jim Sandell

Samsung has released a new dating app that helps people find matches by looking at the insides of the person’s refrigerator. The Refrigerdating app designed for use with the company’s Family Hub Refrigerator allows singles to learn about potential mates based on what they keep inside the appliance. The site suggests food is the pathway to someone’s heart and users can let the world know the kind of person they are by uploading a picture of the contents of their frig. The company suggested, “Don’t narrow it down to fridges looking just like yours. Remember it’s the unexpected mixes that make the three star restaurants.”—Jim L. Wilson and Jim Sandell

https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2019/02/06/Dating-app-uses-fridge-pics-instead-of-headshots/6201549475030/?sl=2

Proverbs 17:17 (CSB)¹⁷ A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a difficult time.

On ABC’s television show “The Good Doctor” Dr. Shaun Murphy is a medical resident with Autism. Murphy is very smart and can see medical procedures in his mind before they ever begin. However, he does struggle with social interaction, struggling with how to deal with emotions.

In season one Murphy made a friend, Leah, who lived nearby and was very kind and patient with him. Their relationship became very close and it was obvious that Murphy was starting to feel something more than friendship. Leah, struggling with the relationship, abruptly leaves him at the end of season one.

Murphy is devastated and struggles to cope with the loss of his friend. In season 2 Leah surprises him by coming back to reconnect their relationship. Murphy is at a loss for how to feel about what has happened but can only remember the pain that was caused when Leah left. —Jim L. Wilson and Ken Dillender

https://tvline.com/2018/10/01/the-good-doctor-recap-season-2-episode-2-shaun-angry-with-lea/

John 15:15 (CSB)“I do not call you servants anymore, because a servant doesn’t know what his master is doing. I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything I have heard from my Father.”

In 1974, 11-year-old Tina Green slipped a note into an old bottle and threw it into Lake Michigan from the lighthouse at Old Mission. She was spending the summer with her grandparents and wondered who might find the treasure she put in the lake. 45 years later, Tina Green-Allera had forgotten about the bottle until she got a Facebook message from Eric Amon reporting he had found her note. Amon said he found the bottle buried in the ground while working on a construction project a few miles from the lighthouse. Green-Allera said Amon is mailing the original message to her and thinking about it has brought back a lot of pleasant memories. The two are planning to meet and record a podcast about the experience. Green-Allera said, “We were both so excited. It’s like I knew him all along. Now we’re buddies.”—Jim L. Wilson and Jim Sandell

Psalm 119:63 (CSB) I am a friend to all who fear you, to those who keep your precepts.

Have you noticed how difficult it is to have a conversation with a friend these days without interruption? If one of you isn’t getting a text or call, the other is constantly glancing at their phone.

A recent study by Asurion found that “Americans check their phone on average once every 12 minutes – burying their heads in their phones 80 times a day”—Jim L. Wilson

Phones were meant to keep us connected. And they do, but they are also disconnecting us with the people setting across the table from us.

When the Houston Texans and Kansas City Chiefs met in the NFL playoffs in January 2020, the game became an opportunity for the teams’ mascots to renew their friendship. Dan Meers has performed as the Chief’s mascot K.C. Wolf for 30 years. Over the years he made hundreds of appearances and gave many school children a chance to put try on the costume. One of those kids was Andrew Johnson. From that day on, Johnson wanted to be a team mascot and Meers encouraged him in that pursuit. Johnson eventually became the Houston Texans mascot, Toro. Johnson said Meers taught him a lot about being a good mascot and how to entertain and treat people. Meers said he never could have imagined the impact he had on Johnson, and said he cheered for Johnson when his team was not playing the Chiefs. Meers added, “My goal is just to have a positive impact on young people, whether they grow up to be doctors, teachers, plumbers, whatever they choose in life. Andrew just happened to grow up to be another NFL mascot.”—Jim L. Wilson and Jim Sandell

A friendship that brought together a family from Newfoundland and the Canary Island began with a message in a bottle and a tragic accident. Patrick Dennis originally found the bottle on the shore of Tenerife Island off the coast of Africa in 2002. He made an attempt to contact the 5-year-old girl from Newfoundland who wrote it and was told by the girl’s mother, Carolanna Riggs, that the young girl had been killed in an accident at the age of six just a few months earlier. Dennis and Riggs began and friendship and Riggs and his family in the Canary Islands in 2004 and 2017, and Dennis and his family traveled to Newfoundland to spend the Christmas holidays with Riggs. Reflecting on the things that have happened, Riggs said her daughter would have been very happy. She added, “I really do feel that this message landing over in Tenerife and Patrick getting the bottle and making this connection gives me some closure. It gives me a closure that she’s not far. She is always here with us.”—Jim L. Wilson and Jim Sandell

Paul O’Sullivan said one night he was randomly searching for people with the same name on a social media site. He sent friend requests to the people he found and most accepted. As they began seeing information from the other people, they discovered several of them were musicians, so they decided to form a band. They named their band, The Paul O’Sullivan Band, and it is made up of Manchester Paul on bass, Pennsylvania Paul on percussion, with Baltimore Paul and Rotterdam Paul on guitar and vocals. They have played together through links on the Internet. Manchester Paul, the spokesperson for the band, told an interviewer that there are times you think everything that can be done has been done. He added, “Particularly with the internet, everything’s been covered, everything’s been done. Well actually, this felt like a first. And it still feels like a first.”—Jim L. Wilson and Jim Sandell.

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/four-strangers-all-named-paul-osullivan-form-a-band-despite-living-in-different-cities-around-the-world/

Bill Scott spends hours on his ham radio every dy. He has a small black portable unit that he takes with him walks, vacations, and to social gatherings. Scott said he has heard check ins from every part of the world and even the International Space Station. When Scott got a call from one of his radio friends, it didn’t take long to figure out something was wrong. His friend Skip who lives 500 miles away accidentally called Bill’s phone, and it became evident he was having a stroke and needed help immediately. The call dropped and Scott called 9-1-1 and directed responders to Skip’s home. Later, a family member called Scoot back and told him he had saved Skip’s life through his quick action. When asked about the call Skip said, “It’s pretty awesome they are great people you know. I’m just glad I called them.”—Jim L. Wilson and Jim Sandell

https://sacramento.cbslocal.com/2021/08/16/bill-scott-skip-kritcher-ham-radio-life-saved/