According to a recent Gallup Father’s Day Poll, 40% of men between the ages of 18-49 feel that their father was their greatest parental influence as compared to just 23% of men over 50.

I don’t know if the difference is because of the people’s age or the times they’ve been living in. I tend to believe it is the times. My gut tells me that fathers are spending more time with their children and are more actively involved in their upbringing than they used to be. And that involvement is paying off.

1 Thes. 2:11 NASB “just as you know how we were exhorting and encouraging and imploring each one of you as a father would his own children”

The presence of a Father in the home makes a tremendous difference in a child’s future. Did you know that children from a fatherless home are:

— Being a Good Dad When You Didn’t Have One, p. 19 Illustration by Jim L. Wilson

Ephesians 6:4 NASB “And, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger; but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

For more information on “Being a Good Dad When You Didn’t Have One,” go to http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/083411951X/fm082-20

To hear some feminists speak, the only thing men are needed for is procreation. But the facts show otherwise. Children raised without a father are more likely to live in poverty, have emotional or behavioral problems, commit suicide, be sexually active before marriage, engage in delinquent behavior and get a divorce when they are grown.

Some of my favorite memories of being a son and being a Dad surround the game of baseball. I don’t know what memories Steve and his daughter Emily have developed over the years, but I suspect neither of them will ever forget a day they spent together watching the Phillies play.

32 year-old Steve Monforto caught a made a spectacular catch of a foul ball during that game. He reached over the railing to make the grab, catching his first foul ball after years of going to Phillies games. Monforto fist bumped his friends, high fived his daughter, and then handed the ball to his 3-year-old daughter Emily. To everyone’s surprise, Emily turned and threw the ball back toward the field. Monforto didn’t get mad, he just hugged his daughter.

When Monforto talked to reporters later, he told them he didn’t want his daughter to think she had done anything wrong. “I’ve been waiting so long to catch a foul ball, and over the edge it goes,” Monforto said with a laugh. “At the time, I was just excited to give it to her.” Monforto said he never considered the possibility Emily might toss the treasure from the upper deck.

Everyone in the stands cheered at the catch, and then Monforto’s cuddle. Later, a team representative brought the ball back to Monforto, and the family got an autographed ball and team jerseys during a television appearance later that week.

Foul Ball! Toddler tosses back dad’s prized catch, http://www.philly.com/philly/wires/ap/news/state/pennsylvania/20090917_ap_foulballtoddlertossesbackdadsprizedcatch.html ; September 17, 2009, Illustration by Jim L. Wilson and Jim Sandell.

When you have a dad like that, who needs a foul ball anyway!

James 1:17 (CEV) Every good and perfect gift comes down from the Father who created all the lights in the heavens. He is always the same and never makes dark shadows by changing.

Maria Kefalas is a sociologist who studies marriage and family issues. She is a self-identified feminist who has co-authored a book called, Promises I can Keep: Why Poor Women Put Motherhood Before Marriage. Her research has shown that few things hamper a child as much as not having a father at home. “Women always tell me, ‘I can be a mother and a father to a child,’ but it’s not true.” Growing up without a father has a deep psychological effect on a child. “The mom may not need that man,” Kefalas says, “but her children still do.”

In a culture that is marginalizing fathers, this is an important message. Fathers need to be more than sperm donors and become actively involved in the lives of their children.

-- Time, July 13, 2009. P. 47 Illustration by Jim L. Wilson and Rodger Russell

Exodus 20:12 (NLT) “Honor your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the Lord your God is giving you.

Brett Favre is 40 years old and still playing Quarterback in the National Football League. Favre is playing for the Minnesota Vikings, the fourth team of his storied career. He has won one super bowl and three times he has been voted the Most Valuable Player in the NFL.

One of the reasons, perhaps the main reason, he is still playing years after most quarterbacks have retired is a deep-seated need to prove something to his father. Brett’s wife, Deanna says, “Not only was Brett trying to impress his coach, he was trying to make his dad proud. That mentality always stuck with him.

Six years after his father died, Brett Favre is still struggling to his most vocal second guesser proud. “I knew he was proud of me. But he was one of those who never said it.” In addition, he says, “Never did he say he loved us (children). But we knew. And vice-versa: We never said it to him.

--USA Today, December 18, 2009. P. A1-2., Illustration by Jim L. Wilson and Rodger Russell

I am going to make sure my children never have to assume I love them and I am proud of them. I am going to tell them. Every chance I get. Part of being a father is to give them a place in the world where love, welcome, and acceptance rules. While I am at it, I think I will give my dad a call too.

Malachi 4:6a (NASB) "He will restore the hearts of the fathers to their children and the hearts of the children to their fathers,"

Matthew Roberts, adopted as a baby, wanted to know about his birth parents. He began the search hoping to expand his family with two more people who would love him. He found his biological mom living in a cabin in Wisconsin. She had no phone, no car, and the adoption lady told him, "She is a little bit off."

She told him that she gave him the first and middle names, Lawrence Alexander. During the correspondence that ensued, he discovered that his father and three other men raped his mother during a hippie orgy in San Francisco in 1967.

When he sent her a picture of himself, she told him that she realized then which of the four men had to be his father and where he could find him.

He wrote to him with his Roberts name, and the man responded, knowing details about the orgy and referring to him by the name Lawrence Alexander. Matthew Roberts’ birth father is Charles Manson—the same Charles Manson who is serving a life sentence in California for one of the most gruesome crimes in History.

Matthew Roberts is struggling to accept a father is hard to love and cannot expect love from.

--The Week, April 23, 2010 p. 40 Illustration by Jim L. Wilson and Rodger Russell

People who don’t have an earthly father to love can receive the love from a heavenly father who does love them deeply.

Matthew 6:25-26 (NJB)(25) ‘That is why I am telling you not to worry about your life and what you are to eat, nor about your body and what you are to wear. Surely life is more than food, and the body more than clothing! (26) Look at the birds in the sky. They do not sow or reap or gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they are?”

Actor Michael Douglas grew up with an absent father. His father, actor Kirk Douglas, was hardly around during Michael’s childhood because he was off making movies. Now Michael’s own child, Cameron is facing up to 10 years in prison for drug abuse. He grew up with the same kind of absent father.

Michael “is hoping to repair his relationship with Cameron the way he and Kirk did late in his father’s life, but he isn’t sure he’ll get the chance. ‘We always tend to make more of an effort with strangers than we do the person closest to us,’ Douglas says.”

God’s word warns us that fatherly sins can be passed from generation to generation.
Exodus 34:7 (NASB77) “who keeps lovingkindness for thousands, who forgives iniquity, transgression and sin; yet He will by no means leave the guilty unpunished, visiting the iniquity of fathers on the children and on the grandchildren to the third and fourth generations."
This Father’s day, and the year that follows, perhaps we fathers could make the extra effort to be close to our children.

Javier “Chicharito” Hernandez is a star in the world of soccer, and his father is a star to his family. Javier Hernandez recently signed a deal to play with Manchester United, but this summer he will travel to South Africa to represent Mexico in the World Cup. Hernandez’s father is a reserve coach for one Mexico’s biggest teams, and always insisted his family came before his work. His statement was put to the test recently when the team denied the elder Hernandez permission to take time off to see his son play in the World Cup. Hernandez talked it over with the family, and quit his job in order attend his son’s games.

Hernandez told local reporters, “I asked for permission to go to the World Cup, and they didn’t allow me. I had to think about it for two days with my family and kids and I made the decision to quit because I want to go to the World Cup and see my kid play. Work is secondary.” Hernandez said the decision as difficult but he knows he made the right choice. He added, “Moments from your life is what makes you take that decision. I understand the institution and that no one is above it, but one is also just here in passing.”

--Hernandez’s father quits to see him play, http://soccernet.espn.go.com/world-cup/story/_/id/792607/ce/uk/?cc=5901&ver=us; June 4, 2010, Illustration by Jim L. Wilson and Jim Sandell.

Ephesians 6:4 (HCSB) “And fathers, don’t stir up anger in your children, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”

Keeping the 5th commandment to honor father and mother becomes difficult, if not impossible, for the thousands of children who know their fathers only as “Donor.” For many of them it creates an identity crisis that has no solution.

Alana Stewart is one of those fatherless children. Telling her story to World Magazine, she says simply, “I don’t really consider anyone my father.” Her experience is echoed in the title of a recent study—“My Daddy’s Name is Donor.”

--World, October 9, 2010, p. 56 Illustration by Jim L. Wilson and Rodger Russell

Psalm 68:5 (NASB77) “A father of the fatherless and a judge for the widows, Is God in His holy habitation.”

Sociologists are beginning to discover truths that have been written in the scripture for millennia. The Research Institute of the McGill University Health Centre has discovered that the absence of a father is not good for Children. Their studies show the lack of a father contributes to defects in a child’s brain structure that can lead to negative social and behavioral consequences.

So, children need their fathers. Families need to be active in raising children. It is good that we are rediscovering the truth of God’s word.--Jim L. Wilson and Rodger Russell

Proverbs 23:24 (NASB) The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice, And he who sires a wise son will be glad in him.

49er head coach Jim Harbaugh learned the power of spinning a situation at an early age. When he was a little kid, the family's motto was "Who's got it better than us?" His dad, Jack, would ask the question and Jim, his brother John and sister Joani would shout in unison, "Nobody!"

At the time, they lived in a tiny two bedroom-house in Iowa City, where Jack was an assistant coach at University of Iowa. Sometimes they had a car. If not, they were walking -- what a terrific opportunity to work on basketball dribbling skills! Jack convinced the boys how great it was that they could bunk together in a tiny bedroom, talk philosophy, and share each other's dreams.

"Who could possibly have it better than you two guys?" Jack would ask. Nobody. Obviously.

"Then as you get older you realize that people do have it better than you," said Harbaugh, who went back to look at the tiny house on a scouting trip. "That was the smallest house I'd ever seen."

"The message there was not having things handed to you, that things that don't come easy are really a blessing," Harbaugh said. "If it's harder it makes you better in the long run. That's what my dad was selling. —Jim L. Wilson and Rondall Leggett

Ann Killion, “New coach Harbaugh, 49ers believe they can sustain winning ways,http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2011/writers/ann_killion/10/04/49ers.harbaugh/

Ephesians 6:4 (NKJV) And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.

Jeremiah Heaton, the owner of a mine safety company in Virginia knows how to give good gifts to his children. While they were sharing time at a tea party, his daughter Emily asked him if she could be a princess. He told her yes, and then sat out to make that dream come true. He discovered piece of land in the African desert claimed by no country. He traveled there and planted the Heaton homemade family flag firmly in the ground of the newly declared kingdom of North Sudan. Emily is now a princess.

If an earthly father with finite resources can go to that extent for his children, think how much our heavenly father can provide with his infinite resources. --Jim L. Wilson and Rodger Russell

--http://www.today.com/parents/dad-claims-kingdom-make-his-daughter-real-princess-1D79944364

Matthew 7:11 (NASB) "If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him!

In his book, Do Fathers Matter? What Science is Telling Us About the Parent We’ve Overlooked Paul Raeburn says that “the presence of a father apparently reduces the chances that a child will be born prematurely or die in infancy. Dads’ penchant for roughhousing may aid the development of children’s intelligence. And fathers seem to have an outsize effect on vocabulary too.” --Jim L. Wilson and Rodger Russell.

Genesis 18:19 (HCSB) For I have chosen him so that he will command his children and his house after him to keep the way of the LORD by doing what is right and just. This is how the LORD will fulfill to Abraham what He promised him.”

“Daniel Patrick Moynihan, at the time a federal official, wrote a famous report in March 1965 on family breakdown among African-Americans. He argued presciently and powerfully that the rise of single-parent households would make poverty more intractable.”

“The fundamental problem,” Moynihan wrote, is family breakdown. In a follow-up, he explained: “From the wild Irish slums of the 19th-century Eastern seaboard, to the riot-torn suburbs of Los Angeles, there is one unmistakable lesson in American history: a community that allows large numbers of young men to grow up in broken families ... never acquiring any stable relationship to male authority, never acquiring any set of rational expectations about the future — that community asks for and gets chaos.”

Moynihan was widely criticized and called racist. His warning was generally ignored. In 2013, 71 percent of black children in America were born to an unwed mother, as were 53 percent of Hispanic children, and 36 percent of white children. One cause of poverty is this rise in the number of single parent families.

We must never give up the fight to build strong families with a father and a mother to teach the next generation the truths of God. -- Jim L. Wilson and Rodger Russell.

Psalm 78:1-8 (HCSB) My people, hear my instruction; listen to what I say. (2) I will declare wise sayings; I will speak mysteries from the past— (3) things we have heard and known and that our fathers have passed down to us. (4) We must not hide them from their children, but must tell a future generation the praises of the LORD, His might, and the wonderful works He has performed. (5) He established a testimony in Jacob and set up a law in Israel, which He commanded our fathers to teach to their children (6) so that a future generation— children yet to be born—might know. They were to rise and tell their children (7) so that they might put their confidence in God and not forget God’s works, but keep His commands. (8) Then they would not be like their fathers, a stubborn and rebellious generation, a generation whose heart was not loyal and whose spirit was not faithful to God.

Jeni Stepien is a Pennsylvania schoolteacher who was recently married. The man who walked her down the aisle and gave her away had her dad’s heart. He received it as a heart donor recipient when Jeni’s father was murdered ten years ago. After Arthur Thomas received the heart in 2006, they kept in touch. When she was engaged last fall, she asked Thomas to step into her father’s place and give her away. As they walked down the aisle Jeni Stepien gripped the wrist of Arthur Thomas and felt the pulse of her dad’s heart beating.

Today, if your father is still alive, know that his heart still beats for you. And if your earthly father is gone, and even if he is not, your heavenly father has a heartbeat for you. —Jim L. Wilson and Rodger Russell.

John 3:16 (HCSB)“For God loved the world in this way: He gave His One and Only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life.”

A group of men in their twenties put an ad on Craigslist looking for a dad who could grill hot dogs and hamburgers for a Father’s Day gathering they had planned. None of group of men from Spokane lived with their fathers and did not feel they had the qualifications to be the “barbeque dad for the party they planned. The ad listed the qualifications as 18 years experience as a father and at ten years experience grilling. Additional requirements included an ability to talk about dad things like lawnmowers, building decks, and certain types of music. Spokesman Dan Anderson said the dad chosen needed to bring his own grill and his only payment would be food. He said several men responded to the ad.—Jim L. Wilson & Jim Sandell

http://www.klove.com/news/2017/06/03/Young-Men-Seeking-Dad-Figure-For-Father-s-Day-Barbecue-On-Craigslist, Accessed June 3, 2017.

Psalm 103:13 (CSB) “As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him.”

Deland McCullough is the running backs coach for the Kansas City Chiefs. He always knew he was adopted but until he was 44 he never looked for his birth parents. Then he started looking. He found his birth mother through records and she told him who his father was. McCullough said he thought he would pass out when he heard the name. His birth father, according to his birth mother was Sherman Smith. McCullough knew Smith. In fact, Smith had recruited him to play college football and had been his college football coach.

When McCullough contacted Smith, Smith knew the mother but never knew she was pregnant and had a baby. A paternity test came back positive and Deland McCullough traveled to Smith’s home in Nashville where he was reunited with both his new-found father and his old college coach. Smith greeted him at the door with, “my son.”

McCullough says “Now I know who I am and where I’m from. I got all the pieces to the story now.” This is a great ending. Sherman Smith found a son he already loved, and Deland McCullough found a father he already respected. —Jim L. Wilson and Rodger Russell.

In February 2018, Chloe Kim became the youngest female snowboarder to win gold at the Winter Olympics. She was the first to do a back-to-back 1080s in competition. Her story is more than Olympic gold but also of her family’s immigrant story. Her father, Jog Jin Kim, left his career to become her driver to mountain resorts so that she could train with the best. It was his sacrifice that made it possible for Chloe to become an Olympic champion.—Jim L. Wilson and Bobby Oh

Proverbs 20:7 (CSB) “A righteous person acts with integrity; his children who come after him will be happy.”

Stephen Baskerville is a college professor at Patrick Henry College. In an interview in World Magazine he was asked, “Why do many Christians talk more about the effects of homosexuality than the effects of single-parent homes?” His answer is one we need to remember.

“The most destructive trend in our society is raising children without fathers, yet it’s being promoted as a good thing. … The consequences of single-parent homes and unwed childbearing are severe. Most of our domestic budget goes to solving the problems created by the fatherless.” –Jim L. Wilson and Rodger Russell.

Mark 10:9 (CSB)“Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

Fathers are an important part in every child’s life. Now we discover there is another element we hadn’t considered before. When the dad is one of those who tells corny, pun-filled jokes he is helping “forge healthy, close relationships between fathers and their sons and daughters.

Maybe us dads should find an old joke book and learn some new ones. –Jim L. Wilson and Rodger Russell.

Psalm 127:3–4 (CSB) “Sons are indeed a heritage from the Lord, offspring, a reward. ⁴ Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the sons born in one’s youth.”

Father’s Day will never be the same for Thomas and Mark Willoughby. Mark was diagnosed with autoimmune hepatitis in 1994 and recently discovered he had stage two liver cancer during a routine doctor visit. The doctor wanted to Mark to consider a transplant immediately so he get the liver out before the cancer spread further. The doctor asked Mark’s son Thomas to be tested and consider helping his father. When Thomas came up as a match, he was willing to donate part of his liver. Mark was hesitant at first, but Thomas convinced him it was the best course of action. The two meet for their pre-op appointments and were in the same preparation room. The surgery was successful and Thomas said Father’s Day would be special for him from now on. Mark said, “Its gonna mean I can see more of the things my grandchildren do down the road and see more of the things he does, him and his wife. It gives us a special bond. Now I got some of him inside me now. (sic)”—Jim L. Wilson and Jim Sandell

Proverbs 10:1 (CSB) Solomon’s proverbs: A wise son brings joy to his father, but a foolish son, heartache to his mother.

Happy marriages all have one thing in common. The family father is devoted to the family. These men make an effort to play a big role in their kids’ lives. This generation of fathers is markedly more engaged in the lives of their families than the fathers of two or three generations ago. According to Pew Research, the average amount of time that dads devote per week to child care has risen from 2.5 hours per week in 1965 to 8 hours per week in 2016.

Ephesians 6:4 (CSB) Fathers, don’t stir up anger in your children, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Joshua Rogers tells about the time he, his wife, and their two young daughters were listening to Disney songs. The next song was a sentimental love song "I See the Light" from “Tangled.”

Joshua walked over to his wife, who was in the kitchen, took her in his arms and started dancing with her slowly. As the song approached the final chorus, he could see their daughters watching the slow dance. With the last notes, and fully aware the girls were watching he took his wife’s face in his hands and kissed her.

The face of the older girl just lit up with adoration, she ran across the room, hugged her mother’s knees, then began to cry.

"Why are you crying?" his wife asked. The girl was silent. Joshua asked, "Can you at least give me one word to describe how you're feeling?"

Joshua Rogers goes on to explain. “Never underestimate the power of your love for your spouse. Your kids are watching as you smile and give each other a peck on the lips when you say goodbye to each other in the morning. They’re listening when you complement one another. Demonstrating marital love to our children is a privilege, a unique chance to be both a good parent and a good spouse.

“To love each other well is to love our children well.” When we love our wives as Christ loves the church, we benefit, our spouses benefit, and our children also. —Jim L. Wilson and Rodger Russell.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her

Ashley Thomas and Toya Wimberly were friends from middle school, and would often practice styling each other’s hair. They looked and acted so much like sisters that they grew up feeling that way. Toya’s father, Kenneth would joke that Ashley was his daughter, but he was surprised to find out it was true. Ashley’s parents had both passed away, but one of her mother’s friends recognized Kenneth as someone who used to hang around with the group of people that included Ashley’s mother. The connection prompted them to conduct a DNA test. The results indicated that Ashley, 31, and Toya, 29, are sisters, and both are Kenneth Wimberly’s children. The family was surprised, but after the initial shock wore off they knew the only thing to do was to grow closer and take responsibility for caring for one another. —Jim L. Wilson and Jim Sandell

1 Timothy 5:8 (CSB) “But if anyone does not provide for his own family, especially for his own household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”